I Have Joined the Ranks of the Unemployed....Finally I Get to Be a Real Wino Now!

So...these last two days have been interesting.  I went in to work yesterday to well...work, and I left with no work.  Me no work-y no more-y.

I should have known that something was up what with the "touch base" meeting that was called between myself and a suit.  Touch base....boy am I stupid.  I was honestly thinking all these sweet things in my head like "that's so nice, finally, someone wants to hear about how I am doing/ feel about my job", or "maybe they have finally noticed how overwhelmingly busy I have been and want to ask me how I am faring".  Oh dear, no. 

I walked into the room and noticed that there were two suits sitting there, and even then I still had no clue what was coming.  I even made a joke: "Oh wow! There are two of you in on this meeting...I feel like I should be nervous or something!".

And then I saw their faces.  

Oh.

It was your standard layoff, with words and phrases such as 'downsizing', 'this is never easy', 'wish it didn't have to be this way'....god, it's a lot like a break up isn't it? Well, except for the downsizing part, I hope no one would ever use that word while breaking up with someone. 

I was shocked, and a little upset...again the whole break up thing, but I quickly realized that this is most likely a blessing in disguise.  I have no ill will towards anyone or anything in that company.  I spent 6 years with them yes, and that is a long time, but I have to leave knowing that I learned a lot and gained a bunch of experience working in an admin office that will definitely help me get another job in the same field, if I so choose to do so.

Which I won't.

Now is my opportunity to figure my shit out, to step back, to take a breather.  To really dig deep and think about what truly makes me happy in this life and go towards that.  Like being a writer in some capacity.  And why not? Why can't I do that? I can...and maybe now is my chance to really explore that.

I'm not unhappy, nor am I scared at this point.  I am sure there will be stressful moments, but Dave and I, we have each other, and we will get through this.  It has already happened once before when Dave got laid off.  We managed.  

Today was my first day not having a job.  Since I was NINE (I delivered newspapers). I have pretty much worked in some capacity since then.  It feels weird.  Also, I was kind of bored today. Not crazy bored like I will be in a few days I am sure, but BORED. WTF? It's been ONE day.  I am going to have to structure my days and develop some kind of routine so I don't go crazy.  I am going to be like a dog, waiting for Dave to get home from work, when I will be insanely happy to see him and knock things over in my haste to get to him.

The one thing that keeps making me smile today though? There is a giant snowstorm coming tonight and I don't have to get up and go out in it tomorrow.  

It's the little things, right?